it’s been a while, my dear friend
as mentioned in the title, it’s indeed been an awfully long while.
nobody knows of this blog as of now, and i have no intentions of leaking it out. it’s like my own little space, and i don’t intend to disturb it.ＮＯＣright now for me. living it out in the land in the east, with that oriental pearl which i have yet mounted, with those yummilicious xiaolongbaos, trickling with juice. yes, that’s shanghai. full of people, rich in history, ragged and rough all over.
about the food. i have my qualms about certain foodstuffs. really mouthwatering, if i may say so, but weight management calls for reality checks now and then, and thus gobbling them down is out of the question.
as of this morning, i had a jian bing, which is heavenly if i may say so. it tastes really wow. i figure that’s going to be my staple as long as i continue taking the bus to work.
tomorrow i am going to Fudan university. will be there for the whole day for lessons, and administrative matters. settling lunch there most probably.
come wednesday, i shall have jian bing again, i hope i can control my craving of it in the morning, without the crispy fried bean curd thing in the middle though. that’s really unhealthy. i shall just ask the lady to make for me without it, and with 1 egg, and hopefully she can add more *green* ingredients for me if possible.i shall save it for my lunch. and i shall bring a lunchbox, so that i can save it in the fridge and microwave it during lunch.
and morning i can revert back to my coffee and yogurt. those are yummy as well.
i had too much salt intake in the weekend. it’s sickening. and unhealthy too. and then my face today was bloated like a pufferfish. and then my uterus is bloating up too, i’ve no idea why. because it’s really not coming yet. so drinking more water to flush out those sodium and chloride out of my system.
other than that, i’ve another craving of xiaolongbaos and tangbaos. those are damn nice. but i must save it, one at a time. today i’ve already had my food fix by eating htat jian bing.
ok, here’ s my food plan:
starting tomorrow, tuesday:food shall be settled at Fudan, so i’ll probably have to order whatever my friends have decided to eat. or maybe i shall choose something that i like to eat and just eat that.
wednesday: back at the company.
probably gong to wai gao qiao, by car? taxi? so lunch will have to be something else. i don’t know, won’t be buying that jianbing on wed. as long as i am going to wai gao qiao, i wont be able to buy it.
that means xlbs when i am really finally back to the office. i shall buy that during lunch, and eat half, and keep in my lunch box and eat the other half for dinner. that shall be my one year food plan! hahar.
yes, since i’m going to be here for such a long time, i ll probably have lots of chances to take away xlbs and jianbings.
no rush.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YIN!!
i love you(: for all the years that we’ve been friends for all the help and support and concern that you’ve shown. it’s wonderful to have known you! those times that we jogged together at the park connector was time that was not spent in vain. it was almost spiritual sharing that time of evening jogging alongside you and listening to the thumping and trodding of our footsteps, syncing in harmony against backdrop of cacophony of people talking, panting, vehicles blaring the road the traffic the birds. through it all, we panted like dogs, sweat like pigs and had fun together, albeit in silence. it was not awkward, but sweet, memorable and touching! the days of our lives, mundanely brought out the jest and spice, camps that we’ve been through the days of our training the torment suffering and joy. shared not only with you, but withe rest of our common friends. the 12 of us… everything seems so dreamlike and we are the main characters of this fairytale. the princesses of wonderland. for you, my friend, have been a gem among the stones. and brightened up my life just by being there for me.
**********
something else more random, i realise that should i depart for SH in july, we’d (me and turnip) be at least 6mths’ long. wow. my first relationship had been such a long duration. what about my second/third/fourth? assuming i marry at 28, that’d only leave me with around 5 more years to enter my nxt few milestones of relationships. i believe in destiny, truly i do, but sometimes, destiny is taking me as a ridicule. it’ll never let me experience the burning flame of love, which is always not reciprocated. gibberish. tata. stress from exams. probably.
happy birthday yin!!
i love you(: for all the years that we've been friends for all the help and support and concern that you've shown. it's wonderful to have known you! those times that we jogged together at the park connector was time that was not spent in vain. it was almost spiritual sharing that time of evening jogging alongside you and listening to the thumping and trodding of our footsteps, syncing in harmony against backdrop of cacophony of people talking, panting, vehicles blaring the road the traffic the birds. through it all, we panted like dogs, sweat like pigs and had fun together, albeit in silence. it was not awkward, but sweet, memorable and touching! the days of our lives, mundanely brought out the jest and spice, camps that we've been through the days of our training the torment suffering and joy. shared not only with you, but withe rest of our common friends. the 12 of us...
everything seems so dreamlike and we are the main characters of this fairytale. the princesses of wonderland. for you, my friend, have been a gem among the stones. and brightened up my life just by being there for me.
**********
something else more random, i realise that should i depart for SH in july, we'd (me and turnip) be at least 6mths' long. wow. my first relationship had been such a long duration. what about my second/third/fourth?
assuming i marry at 28, that'd only leave me with around 5 more years to enter my nxt few milestones of relationships. i believe in destiny, truly i do, but sometimes, destiny is taking me as a ridicule. it'll never let me experience the burning flame of love, which is always not reciprocated.
gibberish. tata. stress from exams. probably.
♥
i feel dispensable to turnip. like really, there’s not that importance attached to my presence. the turnip can do with me or without. doesnt make that much of a difference either way. truth is, i don’t feel pampered enough, loved enough.
i want somebody to pamper me silly. and love me to bits. and a vegetable is not capable of such complexed emotions. they are only capable of photosynthesis and growth. and emotions and love are other worldly factors that are just beyond their elemental grasp.
the olive cove waffles are yummy and chewy, but not crispy enough. and it ’s not cooked through. sometimes when they’ve more patience, it ll come out really nicely and tasty. but not today. which resulted in the discard of almost half of it. but of course, i forced myself to munch the majority. for fear that i’ll go hungry like a hungry ghost during the hungry ghost festival until the arrival of dad.
turnip turned up with avocado. he’s always going back on his words. he told me he got chips for me 3 days ago and hitherto, i’ve not even caught sight of a crisp.
salvaged!
is my laptop. i’m quite dependent on it after all. like every night when it’s not in front of me and i cant use it to look up things that i need to check. so yay finally it’s working and back to normal ((: i’m rather happy with it. the IT person at IT care did a good job with it . i’m glad he’s nice and competent. not only did he help me install a much more powerful antivirus software called avira, he also tidied up my taskbar and it’s much much nicer to use cos it’s so much more powerful. well that’s to an end of my woes. though it looks rather primitive and less polished. har. i’m still grateful. and i hate all the viruses why must they come and attack my computer!? how can there be trojan in the pc cluster of all places!! sheesh.
anyway, the tr module that i was taking, finally it’s done. not yet. maybe only halfway there. but in any case, the presentation part’s done. and we are left with only the report. which im obligated to do since i was absent for the meeting and peggy is bugging and bugging and making so much noise cos of my absence. like seriously, give me a break and stop being so revengeful and let go of the grudge woman! she wasnt there either for our previous presentation! and nobody made as much as a squeak at her. whatever. what’s done’s done. i shall not let her accusations dampen my soaring spirits at the revival of my laptop.
well. harrf and i are good.
happy birthday kwa
like how i breathe in ur smell and feel like i’m floating on clouds. how i imagine ur scant when you are not around. how i imagine i can feel you nxt to me. how i imagine your hands are entwined in mine, how i imagine your arm around my shoulders. how you hug me without letting go. and how i am forever locked in ur embrace. it’s like all my thoughts are about you, around you. everyday, i breathe and relinquish your scant. how the olfatory functions purely for the smell of you.
happy 5 months’ Harrf!
you won’t be reading this i know, but i hope someday, somebody you know or you yourself will stumble upon this. and realise how much i value you and love you. i think slowly, subconsciously, i’ve fallen in love with you without meaning to. i told myself that i’d better not fall too deep into this. cos the deeper i fall, the sadder it’ll be. cos eventually, i dunno, what if we are not together. you are my first boyfriend. it’ll be amazing and surprising that we ll ever be partners for life. not in this day and time, not for this generation. realistically.
i realised that i indeed had fallen for you. i can get upset over small little things just cos i care so much about you. i know, that i wont be behaving in such an erratic manner if it were anyone else. i get jealous when you become over friendly with other girls. that is just out of the question. why don’t other girls’ boyfriends act really chummy with other girls in front of their girlfriends? and yet you do. and i cant imagine what you’ll be like behind my back. how exactly friendly will you be. you are giving them the wrong idea and giving me a really bad bad impression and feel aobut all this.
and i don’t like it.
and we are 5 mths’ together. i’m bewildered by the stamina that we’ve portrayed. how could we have lasted for such a long time, given our disputes. the frequency of it. well. are we just forcing too hard?
happy birthday kwa. it’s ur birthday and the idea of 23 cans of mocha came from me!! i have to claim credit for it. cos harrif’s handwriting was all over the cans. and i didnt get to contribute anything. :< well. the birthday thing just reminds me of how old i am, actually.
let’s not go there.
i’ve been telling myself how much time i need to study everyday. and put my 100 and 1 percent into this. cos that’s it i have. before it’s too late. and ncsh. and my future. i dunno. things are just rigged and unforseeable. i should stop wallowing in vegetable theory.
toodles.
well, at least i can say, wow. what a week. that week has passed. now i’m just full of left over energy. or do i still have any? i can finally heave a sigh of relief. no not yet.
i’ve got my road map to do. like the roadmap, the cv, the chinese cv english cv, everything and everything.
send the letter off to sylvester, to meet the march dateline, and then do the cv, then do the hw7 and reading assignment. and i’m totally lost for ce2164!!
well, at least the selfish vegetable comes in handy when i did my lab report. i copied the entire thing from him. like the calculations. so i dunno what’s happening at all. think i’m the only person in the entire lecture theatre who catches no balls for structural design. ugh major stressed about it. and my disgusting cap. i need to pull it up before nocsh.
well. turnip and i are just distant. i wonder after him, who’s next in line? perhaps i’m destined to be a nun. nan the nun. he’s just not the one. he’s just too preoccupied with himself. and if he’s really in love with me, he’d not be acting this way. he’ll be thinking of me in every way. so i’m not the one for him, that’s why he can be so stuck up and selfish and only cares about himself. there’s that girl for him out there somewhere.
like there’s that guy for me out there somewhere. in this lifetime?
rarrrrr nobody knows.
selfish vegetable
why doesnt 
share his 
with me when he knew that i havent had dinner, and there’s no time to go get any and i was busy with lab report. and he doesnt buy me something up from the canteen since he s there anyway. and he knew that i was
and 
but he just went into the other lab and never once emerged to come and talk to me and never once emerged to share a piece of chocolate with me. and after he’s finished with them he told me he just finished eating them. and never offered to share.
why is he such a selfish person.
soon. we have to break up. cos i cant stand a selfish person who only thinks about himself. thinks about himself in everything even during the lab, yes, given that he’s really busy with primavera and that i cant help much anyway, there’s no reason for him to talk or initiate a conversation with me. but the fact that once, i glanced up and saw him eating, and i was so hungry. and he knew i didnt eat, and he had food, and he didnt offer to share some with me. made me realise how selfish a person he is.
i give up.
